Trouble Counting at Mickey D's

This is in honor of Sean...

Taco Bell employees must be where it's at! Because the other
day at McDonalds, the hired help just weren't up to their normal
"High Level" of proficiency.

I drove my silver saturn up to the speaker menu-phone.

Hired Help: Hi! May I take your order?

Me: Yes. I would like a vanilla ice cream cone, please.

HH: That will be 98 cents at the second window.

Me: Thanks!

As I waited in line, I , Mr. Preparedness, sorted through my spare change gathering
exactly the right amount -- 98 cents precisely in quarters, nickels and dimes, with 3 pennies
to make it just right. I was so proud of myself.

Meanwhile, I had finally reached the window. I quickly began this high level financial transaction
by handing over my change. They accepted. I waited for my ice cream.

Hired Help: I need twelve more cents, sir.

Me: What?

HH: The total is $1.08, and you only gave me 98 cents.

Me: Ok....

(Being startled, I wondered if maybe I had forgot the tax. Then I recovered.)

Me: Wait!? No way can an 85 cent cone come out to $1.08!

HH: Um.....(quick conference with manager) Ok. That will be 98 cents please.

Me: Um... I already gave you my money.

HH: Oh. Ok. Here's your cone.

They handed over a nice cold creamy vanilla Ice Cream cone. I have to admit. It looked good. But, there was no napkin, and while I like the taste of vanilla even if my mustache is the plate, I do have some pride. (Well, not really, but my car is messy enough.)

Me: Could I please have a napkin?

The hired help then proceeds to hand me a stack o' napkins about and inch thick, probably thinking that by giving such a boon, I could sell off the excess, invest the money in a high interest stock, and reap untold profits.
His glare clearly showed his envy at my future life of leisure.

I drove off wiping the excess vanilla yumminess from my beard.
Another fine piece of evidence towards the resources and stability of our fine nation.

Stairway to Heaven

Quing up just after 5:00pm onto the parking lot known as Harbor Blvd.,
I popped in my new CD - Led Zepplin's greated hits.
The simple sounds of an acoustic guitar and a group of recorders
washed my heart clean of the busy duldrums collected after an hour or
two of driving around doing errands.

Not all music is like this. But some pieces just make me stop and listen,
and after I'm done, I'm in a better place than before.

Books can be like that, too. Like Lord of the Rings. Why have I read this
same story over and over (something like 20 times). I know what's going to
happen. But I feel cleansed by traveling with these characters and
going through the emotions and events in the story.

I want to collect these things in my life, and make a list -- A list that
I can go back to when in need of a break.

What music and literature does this kind of thing in your life?
I would love to know.

Here's my list of current hobbies or obsessions:

-building a sailboat
-planning what new old car to buy when I sell my saturn
-building a rat cage
-finding a good source for fancy rats (ie local breeder who is not a FETA Freak!)
-building a new terrarium for my bearded dragon
-finding the motivation to ride my bicycles to work: one regular ten speed, and the other is a recumbent
-reading The Count of Monte Cristo
-finding the motivation to grade papers instead of reading The Count of Monte Cristo
-Reading "Eat the Rich", a fun overview of economics by PJ O'Rourke.
-finding the motivation to unpack my new breadmaker and read the instructions
-not spending my extra money on food and things so that I can spend it on sailing and boats
-waiting for my first sailing class to start (5 saturdays starting Feb. 26)
-remembering at the oddest moments, like while reading the six psalms in the middle of church, or like right now, that I have to go to the DMV and renew my license or I'll be taking the bus down to the OC Sailing Center in two weeks!
-hoping I'll find my glasses so that I won't fail my eye exam.

More Quotes

"The monotony of a quiet life
stimulates the creative mind."

"Most teachers waste their time
asking questions that are intended
to discover what a pupil does not know,
whereas the true art of questioning
is to discover what the pupil does
know or is capable of knowing."

-Albert Einstein

California Explorers

As a schoolteacher, my favorite unit is definately the Exploration of California.
Most of the exploration was done by the Spanish
(actually, mostly by Portuguese working for Spain)
and though I have nothing against them as a people, they were a sad sorry lot of
mediocrity.

While not doing a super fine job of exploring California, (they didn't discover the gold, and they only discovered the gigantic bay of San Francisco at the very end, and then only by series of mistakes), their history provides some material for a few hearty laughs (if like me, you have a taste for irony).

So if I've peaked your interest, tune in soon, same bat time (ie whenever I feel like it) ,
same bat blog, when I will discourse on the tragic career of that over the hill, wanna be bad boy,
Juan Rodriguez Cabrillo, the First European to set foot in San Diego, California.

Poppin' Altoids

If I had a band I'd name it the
Poppin' Altoids.
They'd be mostly electronica (cause you just need a keyboard and a recorder)
with depeche mode influences,
But funny. Kind of like a porche
that chews bubble gum. Pop!

And my band would be curiously strong,
with a refreshing aftertaste.
Once you listen, either you'd hate the groove,
or you would keep poppin'
that cd onto track 5 for
one more taste of
Wintergreen.

Max

So, after two -three weeks of contiual rain, I was sure
that Max the alley cat was dead.
But, this morning there he was, curled up
under the bushes in my back yard.
He didn't move at first, even when I dumped out
a can of mystery beef special, but after I walked back and
closed the gate, up he got and sniffed his way
over to the food dish. Maybe just a bit slower
than before.
But, what can you say? That's still pretty good
after 20 days out in the rain.
I wish I knew where he goes when it's
wet outside. It's got to be a great
hiding place.

Your MOM goes to College!

Current movie watching list:
Napoleon Dynamite ****
Snatch ****
Finding Neverland ****
Lemony Snicket... *** (Credits get ****)
Life Aquatic *** 1/2
Ocean's 12 *** ( I could watch these guys pick their
respective noses while waiting for new scripts and be
quite content. I guess I'm easily pleased.)

On the agenda:
King of the Hill Season 3 (I'm skipping season I and 2 because they weren't on sale at Target.)
Once upon a Time in the West
The Godfather (I'm probablly the only geek who hasn't seen this movie, yet.)
Napoleon Dynamite

Current music cue:
The Stranglers
Soundtrack to Cold Mountain
The new Elliot Smith CD
Innocence Mission
Soundtrack to Snatch
Soundtrack to Amelie
Kelly Joe Phelps
Music that Inspired the X Files

I don't like Reggae. I love it. Anyone know any good albums or artists other than the BOB? I know about
him already.

When in Blog Limbo....Quote

"I have no special talents.
I am only passionately curious."
-Albert Einstein

Tea for Two

This is from the packaging of
this morning's required stimulant:

I shall be a cloud,
you the moon,
and this our tea

Numi
Monkey King
Jasmine Tea


Despite winning today's award for
cheesiest, over the top writing,
it made a pretty fine cup.

Clint Quote

"Hell with them fellas.
Buzzards gotta eat,
same as worms."

-from The Outlaw Josey Wales

The Holidays

It's Friday and school is out. The kids are gone.
It's time to pack up.
Two weeks.
Nativity.
New Years.
Maybe a road trip.
Gotta clean up the house.
Gotta apply for Seminary.
Gotta get outside.
Probably won't be blogging till after one-one-O-five.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
"For behold, the darkness shall cover the earth, and gross darkness the people: but the
Lord shall arise upon thee, and his glory shall be seen upon thee."

"Thy sun shall be no more thy light by day; neither for brightness shall the moon
give light unto thee: but the Lord shall be unto thee an everlasting light,
and thy God thy glory."

-Isaiah

5:22 a.m.

It's always amazes how many people are awake at 5:00 a.m.
And they're not just awake, the ones I notice. They're driving
cars...lots of them.
You'd think their might be one or two, but this morning
as I was walking up Harbor Blvd, taking a morning stroll,
piles of cars came streaming down after the light on Whittier
turned green. What kind of job makes you do that? I need to know
so that I never apply by mistake.
Yet, despite my own shock at others' ability to get up in the dark,
I...Beniy Waisanen...Mr. Sleep in just five more minutes for an entire
hour and a half on a regular basis, was up this morning at not just at 5:22 am.
I was up earlier than that. I was up at 5:00 am and an hour before that, too.
In fact I never went to bed last night at all, which is why I am insanely
posting a blog instead of trying to catch another 5 minutes.
There is WAY too much caffeine coursing through my body for
that option!
Staying up all night is something everyone should do at least once.
It's a freeing experience.
And...my report cards are finally done, too!
Now, I wonder how those two things fit together?

Powder Canyon

I've been hiking in them-there-hills lately, specifically
the hills called "Powder Canyon" located between the 60 freeway and my house.
Considering the fact that I/We live in a burgeoning megalopolis
it's quite suprising to find a place where one can look in all directions
and see nothing but blue sky, grassy hills, and the local wildlife
that has yet to abandon our concrete wasteland.

Walking the trails these past few days has been
an invigorating experience. The air is fresh and flows down
from skies on the verge of sunset; misty grey with blushes of pink
in between perfect powder blue near the horizon and a pale cool grey that
reaches high above the trees. These aerial watercolors find their own natural frames
in the local trees that line the meandering paths which lead the wandering traveler past a
winding creek, ascend soft rounded hills, and then descend again into new
hidden spaces alive with smells of the moist earth. Birds sing their songs
of a beautiful world, ants wander close to home; a lone black beetle
walks slowly across the path.

Monumental power lines paint a new picture in abstact as they stretch in parralel across the sky
supported by benevolent sentinel towers that keep a silent unending vigil.
Mud cakes to the soles of my shoes as I walk after the past rain.
As I return to my car, I stop next to the curb. Cakes of mud give evidence
that I am not the only visitor to have come this way. I scrape off my shoes,
one by one, and get into my car.

As I drive home, my thoughts are more in balance, and the
heater feels really nice.

The Sky is NOT Falling!

Every year we have an assembly for the kids called the Rock Salt Concert
in which this guy/musician/actor comes out to our school and sings and talks to
our kids, trying to inspire them to make music a living part of their daily lives.

He sings, he makes jokes, he makes up songs and sings them and has the kids learn
the songs and sing them. He makes funny sounds and gets the kids really excited.

OK. That's all well and good. I have no problem with that. I think it's great.

But, that's not all he did. At a couple of points in his presentation, (and he does this every year),
he stated his mission --- "If we don't do something, music is going to DIE!"

That is such a complete and utter lie! Music is not going to die, and in my opinion,
it's not even checked into the hospital, yet. In fact, music is so healthy right now, that
I bet it doesn't even have to take an aspirin a day.

Now, to be fair, at heart his real criticism is true. People just don't sing and make music
informally like they used to. Kids don't know campfire songs and most adults in general are
less than comfortable with singing or playing instruments. It's become a specialists game.
I could agree that we could profit by moving in the other direction. But, "Music is going to die!" just
seems an extreme analysis. It's like a fear that the sky is going to fall.

I see these overexagerated fears all over the place. Democracy is falling apart! Kids don't have any respect!
Video games are ruining our youth! Hollywood is a cancer of our society. They all have roots in
particular truths. There are problems in our lives and in society. We are fallen people who are living in
a world full of corruption. On a small scale, it certainly looks like things are out of control.

But in reality things are not out of control. God is in control of everything. As Christians we have no reason to be afraid.
In fact we have an obligation to hope. We have to proclaim the possibility of peace and freedom. We are the
only ones who really can. When my life seems like it is spinning into chaos or unmanageability, it is Always because
I am pursuing my own vision of things. I'm doing things my own way. When I get caught in my small little world, trusting
in my own "well reasoned" but really twisted perspective, that's when I am the most despondent and hopeless.

One of my favorite lines from our prayer book comes from the Thanksgiving Comunion prayers. It's the one addressed to the Theotokos. It says something like "...free us from our captive reasoning."
I love that. It's so potent. And it's freeing. I don't have to trust my own reasoning, because sometimes it's sick. Reason is only truly reasonable when it is healed by grace.

The world is not falling apart. We should be sad about the state of things in this world. I need to be sad about my own sorry state.
But, we needen't be afraid. We are in God's hands, and he knows what he is doing.

A Clean Feeling

Sometimes,
there's a clean feeling
in the air,
when the wind is blowing.

There's a clean feeling.
It makes everything new,
when the wind is blowing
and joy is easy.

It makes everything new,
looking for the first time,
and joy is easy,
even when the rain is falling.

Looking for the first time,
you can discover something new,
even when the rain is falling,
seeing the world through little drops.

You can discover something new
in the air,
seeing the world through little drops,
sometimes.

Team America!

Top Ten Reasons not to see this movie...
10. It's crass. I mean really below the belt locker room gross and vulgur (about 20% of the time)
9. It's making fun of really serious issues.
8. It makes fun of middle eastern people.
7. It makes fun of Americans.
6. It makes fun of everybody...
Wait...I like that part!
Now switching to top 5 reasons to SEE this movie...
5. It makes fun of most everybody in the political scene that needs making fun of (love those dangling prepositions)
4. It makes the most fun of hollywood actors and their pseudointellectual (did I spell that right?) stance on world peace.
3. It has a song about how bad of a movie Pearl Harbor was, and how Ben Afflect can't act.
2. It has other totally campy, funny, hilarious songs like the rock standard "America! F@#$ yeah!" and Kim Jeung iLL (I know that's not spelled right) singing the soft solo "I'm Rone-ry!"
1. How can you pass up a blockbuster make-fun-of-the-crappy-formulaic-action-flick-genre filmed entirely with asian-huge-eyed marrionettes!

Go team America. We need to make fun of ourselves more often.

PAX for MAX

Max trotting to eat.JPG
Originally uploaded by beniy_w.

This is Max.
He's a stray cat that I've been feeding for the last few months.
Why you ask?
Well...let me tell you.

Max is short for MAXIMUS CATTICUS.
Until a few years ago, he was the baddest Tom Cat on the block.
He ruled our little neighborhood's motley collection of indoors and outdoors, pets and strays, tormenting and catcalling and spreading his seed (very successfully, too).
I hated him!
He was the bully.
But that was 7-8 years ago.
Now, he's so over the hill the local blue jays dive bomb him and he just meekly walks away.
He's so blind, he has to smell his way to food just a foot or two away.
It's kind of sad, but for me, Max is a symbol of endurance.
He comes every day and lies out in my backyard and waits for his daily doll. Maybe I should build him a concrete bench so he can feel like a true roman.

Name Update: My students and I named our Bearded Dragon "Thistle Blink!"

New Class Pet

Bearded Dragon.jpg
Originally uploaded by beniy_w.

She's quiet.
She's vigilant.
Her eyes keep track of what's going on.
She likes her rock, and a cricket or mealworm now and then.
She's got a pointy beard, but she's no lady. (...and hopefully, my classroom is not a circus act!)
She's a Bearded Dragon, and she's our new class pet at school.

This morning I gently picked her up and walked out to meet my class.
They were very pleased and they all, with only one exception, wanted to touch her as I walked down the line.

Tomorrow we name her.
Last time my students made the giant creative leap from a Green Iguana to "Iggy."
I'm hoping for something more exotic.
I want a name fit for a dragon.
Maybe something Australian.
My class votes on Tuesday.

Too much time...

limecat
Originally uploaded by beniy_w.

style="">From my sister...

What happens when you:
1) have nothing to do
2) own a sharp knife
3) have a large lime
4) own a patient cat
5) drink too much tequila
6) and it's football season?